Walkenitis (wal-kîn-eye-tés)
Other names: The Walken Bug, Walken Syndrome, Walken Addiction

Symptoms:
Fever - particularly for more cowbell
Dizzyness - from watching too much tapdancing
Increased Appetite - usually for seafood and shellfish after reading recipes
Carpal Tunnel or Hand Joint Pain- from abuse of the remote control
Sleeplessness - can occur for many reasons. typically related to an
infection of walken on the brain.
Tunnel Vision - a fixation on the television or motion picture screen,
blinding out all other visuals
Twitching of feet - from a longing need to learn to tapdance
Unexplained singing - particularly show tunes or Elvis music

Causes and Risks:
Walkenitis can be caused in many ways. It usually starts out innocently
enough, by recieving an infection of Walken as part of visual and audio
stimuli. The patient will then intentionally infect him/herself with Walken
many times over as an automatic response to the initial stimuli. Risks to
the patient may include a loss of concentration for other stimuli, such as
Tom Cruise or Harrison Ford. A lack of interest in social situations where
Walken is not the main stimuli may also occur.

How the Condition is Diagnosed:
Usually, the condition is self-diagnosed. Many doctors or family members
will not recognise the symptoms before the patient does, although in rare
cases, family members will recognise the symptoms as part of recognising
their own developing symptoms of Walkenitis.

Side Effects:
The condition can be expensive and it is likely to cause a disruption in
normal activities, as patient would rather continue to absorb Walken stimuli
on a daily basis. Also, some sufferers will actually be compelled to make
trips to New York City to be closer to Walken stimuli, if family or
financial issues do not get in their way. A disagreement in the enjoyment
and/or effectiveness of Walken stimuli can occur in a household, making it
difficult for the sufferer to recieve stimuli in large doses.

Risks to others:
Walkenitis can be transferred to others. It is highly contageous in the
sense that it breeds from audio and visual stimuli passed from the infected
to another person. Some people, especially the culturally-challenged, may be
immune to Walkenitis, but it is rare that individuals aren't infected with
even a mild strain.

Treatments and cures:
There is no known cure, although some sufferers may replace Walkenitis with
another stimuli-related ailment, such as Spaceyatitis, and over time, no
longer consider themselves afflicted. Treatment is to recieve Walken stimuli
in mild, regular doses daily to prevent an overdose, although the occasional
binge is acceptable....what are we saying? The only cure for Walkenitis is
more Walken!!